Tuesday, April 11, 2006

How about some democracy here in DuPage?

Irony is a funny thing. As we're now up to 2,361 dead in a war supposedly fought to bring democracy to the poor benighted people of Iraq, I thought I'd share the evening's events with you.

I just returned from the yearly meeting of York Township. Some of us Cegelis peeps had the notion to put a non-binding resolution on the November ballot calling for the withdrawal of troops from Eye-raq.

Except that the Township elders (and by elders I mean greasy Republican politicos) caught wind of our little plan and called in their chits (by which I mean city and township workers--including the janitor for the building who was present). Their chits showed up in force and hilarity ensued.

Allow me to paint the picture. A motley collection of a few youngsters, lots of little old ladies, and some grey-haired Democratic activists surrounded by a sea of retired white people and large men with slick-backed hair.

A bendediction was held. The lord's name was invoked. Whether his grace moved anyone to act, I'll let you decide.

The pledge of allegiance was invoked, referencing the glory of what the old man mc'ing the ceremony referred to as 'the greatest flag on the whole earth.'

Because if it had been a competition between us and the half-earth flags, that might have been a contest. Luckily for us, we're looking only at whole-earth flags here.

The first vote was on who'd moderate the debate. Our candidate (a worthy man) went up, and so did theirs. By voice vote, we lost. We asked for an actual count, because their voice vote was mostly yelling by large township employees. We took another voice vote (I am shitting you negatively) to determine whether we should use voice vote to select the moderator. You won't be surprised to learn that we lost.

At that point, the smarmy fuck of a moderator took over. Motions were made to skip through the entirety of the agenda, including old business, the reports of the treasury of the township and updates on township business.

Another old lady (and a worthy one) stood up to ask why we couldn't talk about y'know, the stuff the township had been doing and all. She was told printed versions were availble after the gig was over.

A motion was held to close questions to the people who were running the show. Someone stood up, and pointed out that if we're going to voice vote that this would hardly be appropriate.

I stood up, and pointed out that if I'd known it was going to be a voice vote I'd have grabbed my megaphone. I seconded the other dude's idea that we do some other way of counting. At which point the moderator just started talking over me.

Did I mention he was a smarmy fuck?

So we finally got to the portion where our non-binding resolution was to be considered. I was ready. Here was going to be some fireworks! I was totally ready to be called a traitorous scummy hippy commie bad person.

Nope. We introduced an item to amend the agenda to include the non-binding resolution on withdrawal of troops. It went down in defeat. No debate. Nothing. It was over. Please reread that first paragraph again with this in mind.

A benediction was held, which we walked out on. I hope the Lord didn't take it personally.

Mrs. Drinallmyyears and I were talking about it afterwards, and you know, I have to ask: what the fuck were these Republicans scared of exactly? This is DuPage County for Christ's sake. They should have been itching to show just how beloved Dear Leader's war really is. This would be the one place where he'd be assured victory--he sure as hell can't seem to get it in the actual war we avoided having a debate over.

Oh well.

Oh, and the troops that we're protecting from this kind of debate? Five more died today.

Irony is a motherfucker.

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