Friday, September 16, 2005

The following was picked up by very powerful microphones near the President:


















"Boy, ruining a country sure is thirsty work. I mean, can you imagine THIS heat with no AC? Almost as bad as lying on national television. Not quite that bad. Whew, Laura, whip me up a glass of that Jesus-juice. No, I had rhubarb last night, I want boysenberry."

That kind of wisdom can only be followed by the following observation from NBC reporter Brian Williams, checking in after the President (and I use the term loosely) gave his rally 'round my flag' speech.
"I am duty-bound to report the talk of the New Orleans warehouse district last night: there was rejoicing (well, there would have been without the curfew, but the few people I saw on the streets were excited) when the power came back on for blocks on end. Kevin Tibbles was positively jubilant on the live update edition of Nightly News that we fed to the West Coast. The mini-mart, long ago cleaned out by looters, was nonetheless bathed in light, including the empty, roped-off gas pumps. The motorcade route through the district was partially lit no more than 30 minutes before POTUS drove through. And yet last night, no more than an hour after the President departed, the lights went out. The entire area was plunged into total darkness again, to audible groans. It's enough to make some of the folks here who witnessed it... jump to certain conclusions."
I mean, it's not as though the President's advance team would set up a photo op of an electrified New Orleans, just for the TV cameras, is it? No, no one's that cunning.

In other news, Karl Rove* is in charge of the cleanup of the Gulf region. Already, they're trying to pin this whole catastrophe on environmental lawsuits against the Army Corps of Engineers.

In other news, my head has just exploded becase I have reached my absolute bullshit capacity. See below:










*Who wins Karl? Harry? And what about the Aryan brotherhood? Are they involved?

Buy the movie ticket and see. And make me a much richer man in the process. Remember, I have the movie copy rights.

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